Sunday, May 18, 2008

It's happening again

Nine all-new shows. Last year was only the beginning!

Another night of No Shame

Up above is the video from March No Shame, if you want to see "The Guidance Counselor" by George "the" Bastard, cue it up to 10:40. Anyone know how to edit these yourself? And thanks for those of you who have voted for "Autoerotic Asphyxiation" to go into the Best Of No Shame show next month. Keep voting, create new email accounts and send in your votes!

Last night's show was slick, not a lot of hiccups. I brought an odd sketch that ended up going on second-last (this is what happens when you warn a cast that they have a habit of putting my things first). One of the odder No Shames I've been to, some really out-there pieces, some terrible stuff, a few really funny patches. I got a few first-timers as cast members, and they had fun with the piece, and I learned a little bit about what people find funny, and how I write awkward phrases for female characters. Also a pleasant surprise to see Gordon from Scrutiny Hooligans there (well, I saw him leaving so I assume he was there).

Best of No Shame is June 21. Make it a double feature with the Feral Chihuahuas show!

Go See Robot Johnson!

I caught Friday night's Robot Johnson show in Charlotte. The start was a little slow, but about a third of the way in the sketches really picked it up and were consistently hilarious. They do things a little like the Feral Chihuahuas (only with live music between sketches, good band too) - show was right on an hour long, about nine live sketches, some music. They also change their show every week, they have a loose theme to the shows - this weekend's was racism.

So if you're in Charlotte over any of the next several weekends, go see their show, downtown at the Spirit Square (where little old ladies sell you beer outside). $15 well spent!

The Bastard in Charlotte

As promised before, here are some lousy cameraphone shots of George "the" Bastard in action in Charlotte. Strangely enough, I'm only drinking in one of them.




I had a great time in Charlotte. Thanks for laughing.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Sick man

The Fat man of Comedy declared George "the" Bastard a sick man after my set last night. Funny evening, ended up going onstage three hours and several beers later than I expected. Pictures to come soon.

Monday, May 12, 2008

No Mountain Xpress for you, Bastard (edited)

The same day that I get a mention in Brian Postelle's Blog Log (thanks Brian), I had my first comment disallowed on the Mountain Xpress message boards. About time someone kept the public safe from the Bastard. (edit - the comment went up. It was a pretty lame provocative joke, but it went up anyway).

After a script meeting last night (where an idea I had some concerns over was met by a lot of laughter, so I'll keep running with it), we watched the tape of the last year's Halloween show. Been a long time since I've watched my stand-up on tape, and I remember blogging that I didn't get a great response on the first set, but on the tape, there were a lot more laughs than I remember. I also look pretty evil when I smile, I like that look.

Watching the rest of the show... both Andrew and I talked at the end about needing to watch the pacing. We zoomed through some lines that were getting laughs and wouldn't have been heard by the audience. I'm working on my acting, but I'm still a truly abysmal actor, especially if I have to stand around in a character for any period of time. I fidget too much. And I can't do accents to save myself.

I'm going on the road this week to hone my stand-up skills and re-work some old material. There's a routine I used to do in Canada (actually I did it once at the former Asheville Comedy Club, but there were only about 8 people in the audience) that I want to bring back - it uses audience participation, and that hasn't been a hallmark of George "The" Bastard.

I'll be back in Asheville for the weekend, and planning to bring something truly weird to No Shame on Saturday May 17th (just in time for you to vote for it, if you like it, for the Best of No Shame).

Saturday, May 10, 2008

George "The" Bastard helps you understand

A rare crossposting - Shad over at Nice Marmot had a post that ticked my bastard juices (and tickled bastard juice is a rare commodity). His list of things he doesn't get...

The “Left Behind” Series
Ron Paul
People Magazine
My Space
Conversations about the weather
Dog People
Fascination with/interest in the Olsen Twins (or insert other “celebrity” here)
people who litter (especially those who do so in my front lawn)
Books on CD/tape
James Patterson
Baseball as a metaphor for America

My response...

  • Anime: Because tentacle rape of teenage girls by evil demons is acceptable if it has squeaky Japanese voices behind it.
  • Left behind: The right behind has been squeezed too much
  • Ron Paul: Now you can be the white H.K. Edgerton
  • People magazine: Most people buy it for the crossword, some finish it.
  • My space: because registered sex offenders find it difficult to leave the house
  • Conversations about the weather: No, you can’t leave yet, I haven’t decided if I want to fuck you or kill you
  • Dog People: There to maintain the balance between cat people and sane people who see all animals as walking meat
  • Shopping: One of Sean Pertwee’s early films, wasn’t a big hit, but worth a look, there’s a young Jude Law in there too.
  • Fascination with underage celebrities: Those comedy romance movies from the 40s-60s were sometimes called “Delayed fuck” movies - the pair couldn’t do it until several conditions were met. Now we just masturbate until they’re 18. And when it turns out we’re not the first to fuck them, we enjoy their decline and demise.
  • People who litter your front lawn: reminds me, I have to do something with that bag from the fast food I had for breakfast. To the shaddump.
  • Books on tape: Mostly for fans of topology
  • James Patterson: his books are named after nursery rhymes, so they’re easy to remember. Soon he’ll run out and have to use “Wee Willie Winkie” and that will be the end of him.
  • NASCAR: fills the gap between church and bed
  • Baseball as a metaphor for America: There’s cheating, drugs, massive sums of cash going to poseurs, token inclusion of Canadians, a massive influx of Latinos and the rest of the world doesn’t like it or get it. IT IS AMERICA!

Friday, May 9, 2008

Haven't had enough voting yet?

Then vote for either "Autoerotic Asphyxiation" or "The Guidance Counselor" for the Best of No Shame - help a Bastard out.

Business cards for Feral Chihuahuas with a list of our show dates for summer should be popping up all over town. I dumped some at Caffiend this morning, and will be going on a downtown drinking and carding tour later today. Let me know if you want some, or have a place of business that would love to display Asheville's funniest team.

I'm heading down to Charlotte next week to spread the funny.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Clunky, but viewable...

The clips of No Shame Theater are up on Google Video Beta. Unless one of my more video-savvy people can figure out how to do an extract, here's one that features writing by George "The" Bastard.

February 9th - "Autoerotic Asphyxiation". Intro starts at 24:35

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Cameras are rolling

We're filming the video inserts for the new Feral Chihuahuas season - scripts are flowing in and we're putting together some great shows for you (posters and business cards appearing all over Asheville as I type).

I got a little sunburned on Sunday, but nothing beats wearing silly costumes in semi-public places while people are driving back from chuch. There was a brown van that had to have come past 5 times (probably couldn't store all the bodies in the back).

Shows start on June 15 and you are not going to want to miss these.


Just in time for cinquo de drinquo, I saw an ad in a bar bathroom for...

Bud Light Lime

That was the right place for an ad for it. I wonder if there's salt added too?

Thursday, May 1, 2008

R.I.P. the Woodfin Theater Shack


It's been a while since we did any shows in there, but we've been rehearsing, meeting, and hanging out in the venerable institution that was the Woodfin Theater Shack (aka "The Shed"). And on Wednesday night, with Liz and Jay on their way to bigger and better things in Chicago, it was time to say good-night to the shed.


The karaoke was set up to rock the shed, there was food and random booze (who would have thought that a margarita made with sour mix and Indiana's finest tequila could taste so good). It was a little unfortunate that the tradition of Woodfin's finest coming to ask us to keep it down didn't materialize, I was looking forward to one last pseudointellectual conversation with Woodfin 5-O.


The flats were gone from inside, for a little while the curtains were still in place - you can see what used to be the backstage where Liz is sitting at the DJ station. Dicky ran the lights and sound for our shows from that little corner desk. The shelves behind Jay were where the props were set up, the mirror reminded me of trying to figure out if I had wigs on properly in the pitch blackness. Slats were propped up against those beams above Jay's head.

I wonder if anyone will now try to park a car in there?