The Times debunked Cello Scrotum today.
And so disappears another of the genital/musical conditions. We are now down to...
Trombonists' Glans: when you masturbate in the long swooping strokes that you would usually use in a glissandi and squeeze far too much blood into the head of the penis.
French Horn Anus: when the extreme lip pressure on one end causes extreme sphincter loosening on the other end.
Tuba Taint: when attempting to become comfortable squatting holding a 45-pound instrument with no center of gravity results in you shifting uncomfortably so much you gain a characteristic rash
and that extremely unfortunate occurrance you can get when you hold the cymbals too close.