Wednesday, January 28, 2009

So much for Cello Scrotum

The Times debunked Cello Scrotum today.

And so disappears another of the genital/musical conditions. We are now down to...

Trombonists' Glans: when you masturbate in the long swooping strokes that you would usually use in a glissandi and squeeze far too much blood into the head of the penis.

French Horn Anus: when the extreme lip pressure on one end causes extreme sphincter loosening on the other end.

Tuba Taint: when attempting to become comfortable squatting holding a 45-pound instrument with no center of gravity results in you shifting uncomfortably so much you gain a characteristic rash

and that extremely unfortunate occurrance you can get when you hold the cymbals too close.

1 comment:

Graham said...

I heard that one on NPR.

You forgot Dead-From-Having-Jammed-It-Up-Your-Nose Kazoo.