Wear old clothes...

GWAR is coming to the Orange Peel on October 6!!!!!!!!!

Enjoying the rain? Thank the Bastard!

I brought the rain yesterday (and today, by association). Since I've had Feral Chihuahuas rehearsal almost every night over the last three months, I haven't been using the bastard bike to get around town.

So on Sunday evening I inflated the tires, checked out the chain, worked on the gears and got everything ready to be back on the bastard bike come Monday morning.

I made it half a block from Casa Del Bastard before it started raining.

You're welcome.

The Summer Season is Over!

With last night's two mega-shows, the Feral Chihuahuas are taking a little break now - next on the Chihuahua horizon is to edit the shows together for a package for URTV and to try to get into a few more festivals. Next on the Bastard front is to put together some home-grown stand-up shows - watch this space for more details soon.

I was really happy with both shows - stand-up went over well before the start of each show, though those were jokes I hadn't really tried on anyone and wasn't sure if they would get laughs.

It was an odd show for me personally, since I was out of town for most of the week I had limited appearances in sketches (if you were keeping count, I played cops in three sketches and waiters in two sketches), and didn't do much interacting with the other characters. Took me back to when I first started with Feral Chihuahuas where I was mostly a writer and did very little acting.

Thanks to the audiences who got plenty of action for their ten bucks and were loud and into the action for both shows. Thanks also to the staff at ACT who let us go a little long (oops).

Before the show, Tommy made up some pretty nice cards for us all with a color version of the graphic from the playbill last night (the picture of me from the barbershop quartet is particularly disturbing). I'll get the graphic up on here soon.

Back in Asheville

I love that sign - it's in Terminal E at the Atlanta airport. I'm back in town and went straight to rehearsal for the show-ending extravaganza coming up on Saturday. New stand-up, selections of our greatest sketches and film pieces from the season, and to end, the debut of the first ever Feral Chihuahuas Broadway Musical - "Past Present Time Cop from the Future". It's an action-packed show - relive two of the Calloway/Bastard productions "Cougar" and "Infectious Larry" that brought the house down the first time.

Get your tickets online from Asheville Community Theatre

Flight the fighty skies

I'm out of town this week, so probably won't be updating (see the last and greatest Feral Chihuahuas show this Saturday). But I had to mention that on my 6:30am flight out of Charlotte on Saturday, we were delayed for an hour because two flight attendants got in a catfight. I was waiting to board when the flight crew dragged them back from the aircraft and through the gate area. All the passengers who had already checked in had to go back to the gate area and wait until volunteer flight attendants could be found.

No time to procrastinate

But don't let that stop me...

We started rehearsing show #8 yesterday, an odd (but not new) experience of being there working on a show that I'm not going to be in. I was dumped from the cast of a revue that I co-wrote while I was in college because I couldn't sing and couldn't act (a peek at the Old Nick website points out that the Uni Revue is turning 60 this year - way to go guys!).

The Bastard presence will still be felt in a few sketches and film pieces, so make sure you check it out.

Two more sell-out shows!

Last night was a hell of a night.

I was starting to get worried, yet more technical problems stalled the beginning of the first show, but once we got started, it was a great crowd. We had more long sketches than we usually have (and one pretty long film piece), so it was a long show, but the audience stayed with it and there were some great laughs.

I was particularly pleased that my stand-up went over well (after last week working on jokes that I thought were funny that ended up bombing). There's not much of a shelf life for my favorite joke from last night, but I think it would be a great idea if people give Senator John Edwards a copy of this book for Christmas.

Sketches went well, the reaction was great to the Cherdonna song. I hope everyone who was there had a good time, and if you weren't there, you've got two more chances!

I'm not going to be in this upcoming weekend's show, but there'll be some film pieces I was involved in and I've written a few sketches for it, so get your tickets now for Show #8, and stay tuned for the Show Endingest Show ever. Show #9stravaganzaza.

See the Feral Chihuahuas tonight or face eternal damnation!

It's on tonight at 35 Below - first show at 8:00pm, second show at 9:30pm. Come find out what surprises await the Reverend Cyrus Bullfinch.

Asheville continues to make you laugh

Beat the heat with laughter! This weekend you can see LYLAS, with a new cast doing their thing at 35 Below from Wednesday-Friday night, and the Feral Chihuahuas on Saturday. Shows are at 8pm (with a second show for the Feral Chihuahuas at 9:30pm) and are just $10 each. Tickets available at Asheville Community Theatre.

Show #7... what a doozy

Sometimes things go right, sometimes things go wrong. Show 7 was a tale of two shows - for the first show, everything went wrong, for the second show, everything went right. Technical difficulties, awkward moments, jokes that I found a lot funnier than the audience did, that's what happened.

The audience that waited patiently for the second show had a great time - everything that went wrong in the first show went right in the second show. Even some of the jokes that died - either they were really funny or the second audience had the advantage of a few extra hours drinking or a bit of both.

There's only three shows left!!! And each one of them is going to be special in it's own way.

This Saturday is going to be a wild show. Where else can you get all this for $10

• New stand-up comedy from George "The" Bastard - never before heard jokes (and maybe never to be heard again)
• Three brand new film pieces, including the return of Monsieur Shinyhead
• A guest appearance from a former Rebelle
  
• The latest song from Calloway and Bastard Productions, performed live by the diva to end all divas, Cherdonna
• A tweaked up version of a script that went down well at No Shame Theatre last year
• The second great debate between Terry Doyle and Douglas Munson - are you voting Republicrat or Plebitarian?
• An Esperanto exchange student?

... and many more live sketches by the Feral Chihuahuas. Get your tickets now!

Why you need to see the Feral Chihuahuas on Saturday night

The top 10 reasons to get a ticket to see the Feral Chihuahuas at 35 Below on Saturday (two shows, 8:00pm and 9:30pm)

1. I will do a death scene on stage. Live out all your fantasies of the demise of George "the" Bastard by watching his very first death scene
2. For only $10 you will be getting eight brand new never-before performed sketches, and three exclusive film pieces. Laugh five times at each of them and you're paying less than a quarter a laugh!
3. New stand-up from George "the" Bastard before the show
4. A musical guest that is really going to leave a lasting impression on you
5. George "the" Bastard sings again!
6. I get shoved to the ground in one sketch - live out all your fantasies of physical harm being done to the Bastard by seeing physical harm done to the Bastard.
7. You can buy wine and beer at the show, and learn about local businesses who sponsor us
8. Someone will say "vying"
9. Sitting in the near darkness with 40 people you don't know is holistic and satisfying
10. This is your only chance to see this show - every show is different.

See you there!