Thursday, April 3, 2008

George the Bastard solves your problems

I need to reclaim myself as an agony aunt.

To the people complaining about parking at Asheville Tourists Games

There are two appendages below your hips that work well (and if they don't, you have reserved parking anyway). Park a decent walk away from the game, and enjoy some exercise on the way to and the way back from the stadium. If you can't walk back to your car, you probably shouldn't be driving. If you have young kids, make them walk and run around, they'll be tired and want to sleep when you get home. Maximise your evening out - there's 2 hour parking just in front of Asheville Brewing Co until 6pm, so get there around 4, have some beer, something to eat, then move on to Dirty Jacks (you can see the ground from Dirty Jacks, I may spend a whole game in there sometime) to kill some time before the National Anthem.

To the people I've heard complaining today at Asheville airport and at Charlotte airport

You are flying. Your flights are going to be late, and you will not miss your connecting flights because they're going to be late as well. Your day is going to be spent in airports, and this is a beautiful thing. Nobody can reach you for a whole day, you are in transit. Bring that book you've always wanted to read, try to connect through airports with free wifi - I know there's no porn, but there's email and blogspot. This is your day, carpe transit. Complaining incessantly to gate agents is just going to increase the likelihood of a middle seat next trip.


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George the Bastard said...

And a big hello to you, spam-infecting bastardbot

Forrest said...

Adam Brown you goddamn bastard! You're going to go to the airport without even saying goodbye to OUR son!