Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Nursing homes are wasted on the elderly

I'm thinking of moving into an assisted-living complex. I'll probably need to when I'm old, but what's the point of that, I think it would be a lot more fun at age 37. Tonight I decided I'd try cooking, burnt out the kitchen (apparently you're meant to take old food off elements before cooking new food, who knew?), drank a bunch of cheap rum, watched South Park and tried to blog. Since I'm me and live allegedly capably by myself, this is lower behaviour. If I lived at a nursing home, it would be quirky and I'd be the life of the place.

I'd love to have someone to clean up after me, give me drugs and arrange bus trips to see local high schoolers show off.

Can we pick 5 years to spend in assisted living? I'll take mine now, and take care of myself when I'm 80.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

That's funny. My relationship with Jay is not too dissimilar to your description of an ol' folks home. you should have lived in our little artist commune and would have been just like that.

Graham said...

You must remember: at your age, depending on what those local high schoolers are showing off could mean the difference of the four quarters of a football game and 25 to life.

Besides that, I say go for it. If I wore a diaper all day, I'd moonlight for German porn.

Forrest said...

Dude, I'm in. Lets grab a bucket of rocks to lob at kids who get on our lawns and make burly orderlies change our soiled pants while we play XBOX uninterrupted.

George the Bastard said...

The lack of life has been invaded by Oxymorons! And they're thinking along the same lines as the bastard.

If I make it to 80, I'll probably look forward to housework as something to do. Now it's just something that helps me find the kitchen easier.