Reasons to get up today

• Who is killing the great theatrical names of Europe? Added to the Best Month Ever for deadpoolers are Michel Serrault (probably best known for the role in "La Cage Aux Folles" reprised by Nathan Lane in "The Birdcage"), Michaelangelo Antonioni (who made "Blow Up" which is a good movie and was referenced by Monty Python a bunch of times, and Mike Reid (Frank Butcher in "Eastenders", but maybe easily remembered as Doug The Head in "Snatch"). So if you're Molly Sugden, Tom Stoppard or Christopher Lee, get up now, they're coming for you.
• Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts had a seizure. Turnaround is fair play, since I shudder every time I hear "Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts"
• There was a new puzzle supplement with the London Times on Sunday. It's downloadable in a practically unprintable .pdf format here, I extracted the puzzles as individual files if anyone is interested.
• The first U.S. Patent was issued on this day in 1790
  

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-ha

Just spent a few days in Houston. Quite the intriguing place, I enjoyed pointing at things and saying "We have one much smaller than that in North Carolina". It costs more for a beer at Minute Maid Park than it does for admission to an Astros game. I got rather sunburned swimming in Galveston (one cannot return from Texas without a red neck) and I'm peeling pretty nicely now. I'm thinking of serving my skin with salsa at the show on Friday. Random musings...

• It continues to be an impressive month for dead poolers, with the passing of Tammy Faye, Tom Snyder, Ingmar Bergman and Karl Gotch.
• I may be on "Mad Scientist's Tea Party" this Thursday on URTV at 4pm.
• After a week off, Feral Chihuahuas return to 35 Below this Friday with new sketches, new stand-up and something a little different.
• The North Asheville Tailgate Market is moving to the UNCA campus. Pity, I used to enjoy scaring marketgoers with my Saturday morning taking my recycling there.
• No copies of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" have shown up on bookcrossing yet. Oh well...
  

Late night comedy series, July 20

Another good set of shows and a very appreciative audience last night. Both audiences should have been loaded into cages and forced to watch all the rest of our shows. New stand-up worked pretty well, one bit that could work its way into the main routine, two bits that probably don't have a very long shelf-life. I was very happy with the reception to the George the Bastard Harry Potter release party.
Thanks to anyone reading who came - we're off next week for Bele Chere, but in two weeks it'll be new stand-up, new sketches and video pieces.

I'm only a typo away!

You'll never guess what you get when you go to georgethebastard.logspot.com

Reasons to get up today

• It's showtime! 35 Below, 9pm, get your tickets ($10) at the Asheville Community Theater Box office (828-254-1320). New sketches, new video segments, and some all-new stand-up with George The Bastard. You can't get newer!
  
• The Late Night Comedy series is exploding! Greg Brown is doing some shows with the Oxymorons and Gag Order, Tom Chalmers and Scott Bunn are going to do a sketch show.
• Some book or other is coming out at midnight.
• If you turn to CNN at any random time, you're likely to see cute footage of dogs mauling each other to death. How did they get such quality footage so quickly?
  

Reasons to get up today

• I have to think of an appropriate response to "Laugh Your Asheville Off". The article in the Mountain Xpress this week made me even more pissed off. I am not upset at not being booked on the show, I haven't done a set in a Comedy Zone or a Summit Comedy venue for about three years. I am upset at the lip service Feral Chihuahuas is given, in the opening paragraph no less as improv. The Feral Chihuahuas are pre-written (and now incorproating pre-filmed) sketch comedy and stand-up - not improv, and the Mountain Xpress knows better.
  
• I also like the change in tone between the Mountain Xpress article and the one in Take 5 assuring the attendees that this will be highbrow and clean.
  
• So tonight I think I'm going to actually support local comedy, by passing out Feral Chihuahuas flyers outside the show and then wandering down to the Gag Order show at 35 Below.
• Brewgrass festival is starting to shape up. Another sampling glass to add to the collection at casa del Bastard. Very excited that the Carolina Chocolate Drops are performing.
• Happy 147th birthday Lizzie Borden!
  

Dripping with sincerity

Recently I tried to have DVR installed at casa del Bastard, since I can never remember to set my ancient VCR to catch all the trashy TV that is out there. Two trips to Charter, three DVR boxes, a dozen phone calls and four cable guy visits later, it sort of works. They naturally called me at an inopportune time to ask for me to glowingly rate their service. If you happen to be near a public men's room when survey people call, this is the perfect time...

"Mr The Bastard, on a scale of 1-5, with 5 being perfect, and everything else being a fail, how would you rate our service?"

Now flush, move to next urinal for next question.

You can't say Charter doesn't care - this arrived in the mail yesterday

Awwwwwwwww.... the personal touch. Apparently what matters most to me is challenging little girls in the park to hula hoop competitions, a healthy prelude to molestation. And not what I really want which is non-stop TV inside in the air conditioning.

Reasons to wake up today

• Matt Groening is going to be on The Daily Show tonight. I'm hoping that he's going to reveal that the Simpsons movie only has the Simpsons for about five minutes and then becomes the "Life In Hell" movie.
• We're getting close to the next Feral Chihuahuas show. This means all new stand-up from George the Bastard. It's been interesting, but every week is a completely new stand-up set with jokes never heard before (and judging by the response, this will be your only chance to catch any of them).
• We're also only three days away from the release of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows". Reading Harry's death is going to be one of the most exquisite moments in literature.
• It's just been announced that the Meat Puppets and Who's Bad are doing concerts on consecutive nights at the Orange Peel. Surely they'll announce some sort of double feature ticket package.
  

So it's come to this

How did you find this blog? I didn't place my innermost thoughts on a publically-accessible forum for you.