What's funny in Asheville - insomniac edition

Haven't quite dropped off the face of the planet yet, sorry to tell you. Things have been rather interesting in the world of the Bastard in the last few days, the hammer finally came down on the only facebook profile picture I've ever had, opportunities have been ever so tantalisingly close and getting snatched away, and I'm looking at a few very very random trips.

However the weekend is coming up soon, and if you're looking for a laugh over the next couple of days, this town is a goldmine again!

Last weekend I went to see "The Little Dog Laughed" at Asheville Community Theatre's 35 Below (oftentime home to the Feral Chihuahuas). Great show, well-acted - Jamie Shell is great in it, and I hadn't seen Joan Atwood before but she is perfect in her part. There's some great laughs in this play, and an ending that I won't give away, but I did not pick, and I'm usually a great picker of endings.

Tom Stoppard has written some great bizarre pieces (when is someone in Asheville going to put on "The Dog It Was That Died"?), and the screenplay for "Brazil". But he's best known for an early work, "Rosencrantz And Guildenstern are Dead", which is being put on at NC Stage over the next few weeks. I'm hoping to get to it next week.

Saturday night (or indeed Sunday morning) is the next instalment of No Shame Theatre. Not sure if I'm going to make it there on Saturday but I'm going to try. There's been a change in time - it's 11 for scripts and midnight for the show. If you're lucky you'll be out for last call, but there'll be drinks in there, yip. No Shame is cheap ($5), exciting and always fun, and there's a chance you could end up acting in a George "the" Bastard original.

If you sleep all the way through the weekend and find that you've woken up on Tuesday, then you can see the OxyMorons.

I'm still working on scripts for the next Feral Chihuahuas show, an April Fool's extravaganza. There'll be a work in progress for that show if I make it to No Shame. It's going to be a great show, something a little different. Watch this space!

Bastard word of the day, let's go shopping Asheville edition.

From the Chambers Dictionary, 11th edition.

ingle: noun. a catamite [origin obscure]

catamite: noun. a boy kept as a homosexual lover.

Even more more Feral Chihuahuas videos

Some more video goodness for your enjoyment on Valentine's Day.



"Tom and Jeannie", featuring John Moore, another appearance of Andrew in a dress, and the Waffle House menu we originally swiped for the Time Capsule sketch of a few years ago.



"People you should never date: Dr. Seuss". This was the cap of a three-parter I wrote for a show I couldn't be at, so I was seeing it for the first time online. I like it when the title gets a laugh, I heard all three parts went down well.

I'm hoping to have more details tomorrow about the next Feral Chihuahuas show.

But can the Bastard act?

There's two new videos waiting for you at the Feral Chihuahuas YouTube channel.



Vending Love was written by Drew McDermott and gave me the chance to play a randy random foreigner with one thing on his mind.



Men are from Bars, Women are from Penis was filmed live at the second-t0-last Feral Chihuahuas show of the summer season (a show I couldn't be at), so I hadn't seen it before. I think Andrew is meant to be playing an actual female character here.

A Valentines Day double feature from your friends at the Feral Chihuahuas

Time sensitive joke

I don't have any shows coming up in the next few weeks and this joke will be old very soon, so it amused me to hear this morning that Kellogs have dropped Michael Phelps as a spokesperson for photos of him taking bong hits at the University of South Carolina (or as they call it at that USC, extra credit). Great move Kellogs, you make cereal - the last thing you need to be doing is pissing off potheads. Nascar don't distance themselves from rednecks, budwiser is all over drunken sports fans but dear old Kellogs don't want to be seen as the munchies cereal of choice.

In completely unrelated news, I saw this snowman and laughed yesterday. ooooh, oh oh oh oh oh oh oh katamari damacy

Cops: Mount Olympus

Filmed on location in Woodfin, with an extremely brief, well-hidden appearance by George "the" Bastard, and more obvious boxer shorts than a frat party, here's "Cops: Mount Olympus" by the Feral Chihuahuas.