There are two things that just aren't a big deal in the US, but in Australia some people care and I can't really see why, but I'm suckered in anyway.
The Eurovision Song Contest, which has provided the world with ABBA, two or three one-hit wonders (Buck's Fizz anyone?) and a quarter century of nonentities is on TV running over three whole nights. The first night (a "semi" final where 18 countries started but only 10 got to move on) had a lot of time to fill, so they'd show the first song, then recap that song while getting the second song ready. Then you'd have a recap of the first two songs while the third song was prepared. The first song, which appeared to be performed by Belarusian pirate fetishists on stilts, made 18 appearances, but still didn't get to the second round. Apparently someone will win, and their CD will be prominent in the discount section of Serbian branches of Best Buy for the next three weeks.
Speaking of ABBA... we as a country have refused to let go. Yesterday, in honor of the Eurovision Song contest, I heard three ABBA songs on the radio (and the Australian in me came out, as I found myself subconsciously mumbling along with "I Had a Dream:"), and a few million mentions that the 295th re-run of "ABBA: The Movie" a concert film of ABBA in Australia in 1976 was going to be shown on Saturday prime time.
If you're thinking of bringing a country to its kness, kidnap ABBA and demand what you want from Australia, we'll give it to you.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Things you take for granted
The internet in Australia is expensive. I remember it being that way when I was a University student, and it's gotten even more so. You pay per megabyte, and it's funny to watch what my laptop, Pornputer, chews through while it's "idly" connected to the interweebs. Just signing in to the Lack of Life took up almost a megabyte, and therefore cost me 10 cents. I don't think it's worth that much.
In my apartment in Asheville, a check for wireless access points shows at least 20 of them, and five or so of them are "scab internets" where I can log in and steal someone else's connection. There's nothing like that around here. On the rare occasion I can find a wireless hotspot it's locked down! So I got a prepaid wireless broadband doohickey. It plugs into the back of pornputer and dials up a wireless connection. Pretty nifty stuff - once my $10 of internet has run out (hopefully not before the happy ending), I can call up the nice people in Bangmanilastan and either give them more money for more internet or order nasi goreng to go.
In my apartment in Asheville, a check for wireless access points shows at least 20 of them, and five or so of them are "scab internets" where I can log in and steal someone else's connection. There's nothing like that around here. On the rare occasion I can find a wireless hotspot it's locked down! So I got a prepaid wireless broadband doohickey. It plugs into the back of pornputer and dials up a wireless connection. Pretty nifty stuff - once my $10 of internet has run out (hopefully not before the happy ending), I can call up the nice people in Bangmanilastan and either give them more money for more internet or order nasi goreng to go.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Bastard Internationale
OK, well I'm in Australia, and I'll be here for a few weeks. Reliving a few Bastard roots, I'm sitting right now in the bedroom I inhabited as a little Bastard (now a computer den). I'm getting a kick out of printing things out on larger sheets of paper, and watching the water circle the other way as I expel the remnants of Qantas cuisine.
My flight out of Asheville was delayed by three beers, but I managed to make my connections in Charlotte and Los Angeles. Qantas have a camera on the tail of the airplane, so you can watch takeoff and landing from a little video screen in front of you. I'd put some sort of deliberate warp on it so it looks like you're coming in to the runway at a crazy angle. When we landed in Melbourne, people in surgical masks got on the plane to make sure nobody has the sniffles. Thus far swine flu has stayed out of Australia, and apparently they think the spread can be having incoming international flights met by people in surgical masks. We all had to stay in our seats as they scoured the plane. I thought about coughing out of principle.
My flight out of Asheville was delayed by three beers, but I managed to make my connections in Charlotte and Los Angeles. Qantas have a camera on the tail of the airplane, so you can watch takeoff and landing from a little video screen in front of you. I'd put some sort of deliberate warp on it so it looks like you're coming in to the runway at a crazy angle. When we landed in Melbourne, people in surgical masks got on the plane to make sure nobody has the sniffles. Thus far swine flu has stayed out of Australia, and apparently they think the spread can be having incoming international flights met by people in surgical masks. We all had to stay in our seats as they scoured the plane. I thought about coughing out of principle.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Au revoir, friend of the bastard
The Lack of Life is saddened by the loss of The Computer In The Cow Box, who left this world in the fading days of April, aged 9.
The Computer In The Cow Box is preceded in death by most of Gateway Computers, the Zip Disk system, an external DVD burner, the internal modem, Windows XP and its original Epson printer. It is survived by a Motorola cable modem, an Epson 3-in-1, and an elderly 15-inch CRT monitor.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Recent bastardries
It's been a rough couple of weeks since the last Feral Chihuahuas show, but there's some excitement coming up soon.
It looks like the next Feral Chihuahuas show is going to be Independence Day weekend, with the working title of "After Birth Of A Nation, What Now?". I'm writing patriotic pieces, but also hoping to get a few of the usual Bastard things slipped through that don't necessarily match the theme. Time and ticket details will be available here as soon as I know.
In the interim we're working on some short films and the eagerly-anticipated URTV episodes. We're going to make some internet-only films and video pieces, I'll be trialling some of them here.
I missed the start of No Shame Theater last night, but it looked like it was going to be a great show. I figured I was going to fall asleep, so I ducked out.
Vortex Cabaret is coming soon... more details on that when I know them.
Things are heating up, I'm going to try to take some time to write more regular posts, so look back for more regular injections of the Bastard in your lives.
It looks like the next Feral Chihuahuas show is going to be Independence Day weekend, with the working title of "After Birth Of A Nation, What Now?". I'm writing patriotic pieces, but also hoping to get a few of the usual Bastard things slipped through that don't necessarily match the theme. Time and ticket details will be available here as soon as I know.
In the interim we're working on some short films and the eagerly-anticipated URTV episodes. We're going to make some internet-only films and video pieces, I'll be trialling some of them here.
I missed the start of No Shame Theater last night, but it looked like it was going to be a great show. I figured I was going to fall asleep, so I ducked out.
Vortex Cabaret is coming soon... more details on that when I know them.
Things are heating up, I'm going to try to take some time to write more regular posts, so look back for more regular injections of the Bastard in your lives.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Blog Neglect
The show last week was so amazing that it broke my toe, gave me a horrible head cold and kept me away from the blog for a week. Now that's a good show!
Amazing - we had a turnaway crowd (usually we turn crowds away with some of the performances, but this time we had to actually say "there's no room for you at this show")! We could have managed a few things better, but the large crowd really took us aback, we went on late because we were trying to squeeze as many people in as possible.
Show was great - if you were in the audience and are reading, that was the best response I've had to a stand-up set in years. That reminder that I read made me laugh for hours and I'm glad I could share the supreme creepyness of it with the audience. I need to do some more stand-up, looks like there's a good chance for a lot more Asheville performances starting in May (I prefer to spread it around, but I'll work on some new material). I'm writing for the summer season of Feral Chihuahuas - if you were at the show you got a healthy dose of my material - and trying a few new twists on sketches. I've not been good at writing physical humor into sketches, but I've had a few ideas that involve movement and space.
This weekend we'll make the arrangements for the summer shows, so check back here to find out first. We're going to be doing each show more often, to give as many of you as possible a chance to see the Feral Chihuahuas in action.
I broke my toe the morning of the show (this is not my excuse for the terrible dancing), and came down with a cold over the weekend, so I've been out of action lately and missed a few shows and performances I really didn't want to miss. The Oxymorons are now performing weekly at Buddha Bagels, check them out on Tuesdays to keep your laughing gear in order for our upcoming season!
Amazing - we had a turnaway crowd (usually we turn crowds away with some of the performances, but this time we had to actually say "there's no room for you at this show")! We could have managed a few things better, but the large crowd really took us aback, we went on late because we were trying to squeeze as many people in as possible.
Show was great - if you were in the audience and are reading, that was the best response I've had to a stand-up set in years. That reminder that I read made me laugh for hours and I'm glad I could share the supreme creepyness of it with the audience. I need to do some more stand-up, looks like there's a good chance for a lot more Asheville performances starting in May (I prefer to spread it around, but I'll work on some new material). I'm writing for the summer season of Feral Chihuahuas - if you were at the show you got a healthy dose of my material - and trying a few new twists on sketches. I've not been good at writing physical humor into sketches, but I've had a few ideas that involve movement and space.
This weekend we'll make the arrangements for the summer shows, so check back here to find out first. We're going to be doing each show more often, to give as many of you as possible a chance to see the Feral Chihuahuas in action.
I broke my toe the morning of the show (this is not my excuse for the terrible dancing), and came down with a cold over the weekend, so I've been out of action lately and missed a few shows and performances I really didn't want to miss. The Oxymorons are now performing weekly at Buddha Bagels, check them out on Tuesdays to keep your laughing gear in order for our upcoming season!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Tonight's the night!
Feral Chihuahuas live at the Asheville Arts Center, 308 Merrimon Ave - tickets available at the door, $10 / $7 for students. Come see some original sketch comedy from Asheville's premier sketch comedy ensemble, original songs, stand up by George "the" Bastard and some surprises you are going to love!
In trying to get everything together last night I tore off a toenail so I haven't quite broken a leg for tonight but I've gotten close. I have a few small parts in sketches tonight but I get to wear two competely ridiculous costumes. This show is a sneak preview of what is to come in our sensational summer season.
In trying to get everything together last night I tore off a toenail so I haven't quite broken a leg for tonight but I've gotten close. I have a few small parts in sketches tonight but I get to wear two competely ridiculous costumes. This show is a sneak preview of what is to come in our sensational summer season.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
